As many of you know, I do asexuality awareness videos on YouTube (channel swankivy). Not too long ago I posted a video in association with a person who contacted me wanting to spread the word about an online petition designed to get people to support the addition of "asexual" and "pansexual" to the "sexual orientation" options for social networking sites. Increase of legitimacy, yo.

The other day some jerk posted this comment on my petition video:

"there's no such thing as asexuality. asexuality is just an excuse to give someone, who has become too afraid to admit their sexual attraction, confidence. it's so much easier to answer 'i'm asexual,' than to be judged for a sexual attraction to something socially abnormal."

My response was this:

"Wow, good job! Did you come up with this yourself, or did you take troll lessons? That's so special! ^__^ "

I think there was a time when I would have taken great care to explain to this person what an ignorant statement that was and try to set him/her straight on the issues. But this smelled so stupid to me--was so blatantly reeking with DELIBERATE INSENSITIVITY and SELF-INFLICTED TUNNEL VISION--that I just plain could not believe someone would say it for real. After all, I go out of my way to make the information available, and I explain in this video (as well as several others) what asexuality is. It was appalling to me that someone really could watch it and come up with "What? There isn't a such thing. You're probably just afraid to admit you're attracted to little boys, dogs, or members of your own sex."

I think I've reached a point in my awareness attempts where I'm resigned that some people don't WANT to understand, and that I can't make them. You know what they say . . . you can lead a horse to water. . . .

This isn't to say I feel defeated or despondent about it. Far from it. I think it's pretty special that I've played the part I have . . . that I have over 300 subscribers on my channel who apparently want to regularly hear some girl talk about NOT sex on the Internet . . . that I got to be one of the voices on an asexuality-related feature-length documentary on the movement . . . that I get thank-yous and supportive comments every single day. But I think I've just discovered there is a point after which I'm wasting my breath and keystrokes. Some of these people WANT to watch me melt down and get frustrated at their lack of understanding. Some of them just get pleasure out of trying to make me feel I am making no difference at all.

I think their worst punishment is having to be themselves.

Hello. I'm honestly think this is my first post. I'm a 25-year-old virgin whose never really actively sought out a boyfriend, nor do I feel like I really need one. I guess it helps that I'm sort of an big introvert and have really low testosterone. Not to be tmi, but all of my female friends masterbate and the like, and find it weird that I don't really care about my body in that way. I'm much more interested in finding someone that's sort of a friend but with snuggling benefits? I know that sounds cheesy, but that's the closest I can describe it. I wouldn't mind being monogamous with another individual, boy or girl, as long as I can get close to them, and we have a lot in common. I mean in the way of always knowing I can come home to someone, and that they won't dedicate their attention to another. Nothing of it really has to do with sex, of course. It's an emotional bond. I'm sure this would be the definition of a soul mate.

Granted I'm not saying I could never have sex, it's just on the list of priorites and importance of relationships, it's at the bottom of my list, easily. I'm much more stimulated in the way of mental and emotional connection. I'm an artist, so when I really get into it, there's my masterbation and eventual climax towards the piece's completion lol. Any other asexual artists else feel this way?

Recently I admit, I've been going through an identity crises the past two years or so, and letting other people influence me. I thought it was just me 'growing up' but it was more of a sort of supression.. Amist that I felt like I needed a boyfriend, and needed to be more social in order to create normalcy for myself, because I wasn't feeling much of anything else, and hell, everyone else was doing it. My art was suffering during this time, too.

I eventually got accepted into a private art institute, and I actually had problems producing genuine art, even if it's for the classroom, I still get a lot out of it, and want it to express who I am. I found myself stumbling in the place that I've always wanted to be. Gradually though, like someone recovering from any other trauma, I'm regaining myself, and my art. There was a point where I was actually trying to 'sexualize' myself, and it only left me feeling empty. I wouldn't take back the experience, because I learned from it, but it's been a difficult time of confusion. Recently I know that I'm getting back on track, because a friend I meant recently said "Are you asexual? You don't seem like a very sexual creature". And somehow that put my mind at ease. I always want to leave my options open, but I think I could only do something with another person if I was genuinely in love.

Anyone have similar stories of confusion, or openness?